Drama

Separate the numbers and facts from the story that keeps you spinning.

We can spot other people's drama so easily. We hear gossip or watch someone stir up a story, and we think we would never do that.

Then we go home and tell ourselves our boss is a nightmare, nobody appreciates us, or we could never make the money we want to make.

It's a different voice, but it's the same drama: a collection of thoughts creating unnecessary, unhelpful emotion.

Separate the math from the drama

Money is one of the easiest places to watch this happen.

A coach tells me she wants to make $120,000 a year. That's $10,000 a month. If she charges $1,000 per client per month, she needs ten clients.

That's the math.

Then comes the story. She doesn't know how to get ten clients. Nobody will want to hire her. She isn't good enough. She won't be able to handle it.

Those thoughts create doubt and confusion. They don't change the equation. They change whether she takes the actions required to make it happen.

My business coach is always bringing me back to math. I want to talk about the disbelief, the doubt, and all the drama. He wants to know what needs to be done.

The numbers aren't causing your reaction

Think about an amount of money that feels ordinary to you. Then increase it until you notice your mind start arguing.

Maybe $120,000 feels possible, but $500,000 does not. Maybe your drama starts at $150,000, or a million, or ten million.

Different people react differently to the same number. That tells us the number isn't creating the emotion. The thinking about the number is.

I have students in the same profession who have very different beliefs about the same income. One thinks it is easy. Another thinks it is impossible.

I also talked with someone who believed she could earn a certain amount as an accountant but not as a personal trainer. The drama wasn't only about the money. It was about what she believed was possible in that profession.

Notice your limit. What happens in your mind at that number? What do you start believing? What action does that thinking prevent you from taking?

Abundance and the limits we create

I love Arnold Patent's idea that abundance is already present and what we create are limitations.

That is how I think about this work. Thoughts create feelings, feelings drive actions, and actions create results. When you believe something is unavailable to you, notice how that belief affects what you are willing to do.

Instead of assuming your current beliefs are the only ones available, consider that there may be possibilities you haven't allowed yourself to imagine yet.

When someone brings me a dramatic report that everybody is upset, I ask for specifics. Who exactly? What did they say? What exactly happened?

I want to separate the facts from the interpretation. You can do the same thing with your own mind. The number is a fact. Your story about why you can't create it is something to examine.

Investing in myself

I had plenty of drama when my business coach charged me $36,000 for a program.

What changed it was thinking about the money as an investment in myself. I wasn't handing him responsibility for my results. I was expecting myself to use the coaching and create a return.

I wanted to make the investment back in the first month. I did what he told me to do, even when my mind wanted to argue. My husband reminded me that I had agreed to do the work rather than indulge the drama.

I made the money back. I also wanted a 100 percent return, which meant making another $36,000 beyond recovering the investment.

That experience helped me see myself as someone worth investing in. It also clarified the kind of clients I wanted to work with: people willing to invest their money, time, energy, and action in themselves.

The coach doesn't create the result for you. You bring the effort that produces your return.

The car accident without the extra story

I was stopped at a light when I noticed birthday chocolates on my passenger seat sitting in the sun. I leaned over to move them. My high heel slipped off the brake, and my car rolled into the car ahead.

It was a beautiful red 1957 Chevy convertible. The couple in it were upset. Another driver was yelling at me.

My foot had slipped. I hadn't done it intentionally. It was my fault, and I was willing to pay for the damage.

We pulled over. They weren't hurt. I apologized and gave them my contact and insurance information. We couldn't see damage then, but a few days later the owner called with an estimate of about $1,300.

I paid it. They could get the car fixed, and we could move on.

I didn't make it mean something was wrong with me or that the universe was trying to send me a message. Getting upset, complaining, and replaying the accident wouldn't repair the car.

I've had plenty of drama about much smaller amounts and still ended up paying them. This time, I handled the responsibility without adding the suffering.

You get to decide what to believe

Having no drama doesn't mean you always pay, or that you never pay. It means you make the decision without all the extra upset and worry.

Look at where your money drama begins. Separate the actual numbers from the thoughts you have attached to them.

If you want the results those thoughts create, keep them. If you want something different, examine the beliefs and practice new ones.

I love money, and I love seeing other people have it. I want you to explore abundance because creating it can be fun, and because having more money can help you contribute in bigger ways.

Let the math be math. Then do the work on the mind that is deciding what is possible.