Lessons Learned from Dan Sullivan

Build a bigger future by simplifying the work and valuing what you uniquely offer.

Dan Sullivan told me no, and I went back to my hotel room and cried.

I had flown to meet him because I wanted permission to teach his Strategic Coach tools. I loved his work and wanted to be an advocate for it. The answer was no.

I was devastated. Then I went home and created my own material, including the Self Coaching Model.

I love him for saying no. His tools didn't become the Model, but his work influenced so much of how I think about goals, business, and creating my future.

Make your future bigger than your past

I first found Dan's name in the acknowledgments of books by Jack Canfield and Bill Phillips. Both had thanked him. I wanted to know who this person was.

I wasn't earning enough to join Strategic Coach then, so I bought his materials and studied them. Later, when I reached the income requirement, I joined.

One of his most important lessons for me was future focus. I had spent so much time thinking about what hadn't worked in my childhood. The idea that I could create a future bigger and better than my past changed where I put my attention.

At 70, Dan was sharing goals for the next 25 years. He loved his work and had no intention of retiring. I found that incredibly inspiring.

When someone tells me they are too old to start, I think about him. The wisdom we gain can make what we create later in life richer. We can still have something wonderful ahead of us.

Use gratitude instead of envy

Dan teaches that you cannot be half envious and half grateful.

Envy turns someone else's gain into your loss. Gratitude lets their success show you what is possible.

If you notice envy, write down five things you appreciate about the person or the accomplishment. What does their achievement help you see? What does it reveal about something you want?

This helped me understand abundance differently. Someone further ahead on the path can inspire me. Their success doesn't have to defeat me.

We aren't better or worse people because of our accomplishments. We are on different paths and at different places on them.

People act for their reasons

Another lesson I love is that people do things for their reasons, not yours.

This matters when you coach, help, or sell. You aren't trying to convince someone to do something because it serves your reasons. You are helping them see what they want to create in their own future.

If you can help them do, be, or have something they want, there may be a place for you there.

Trying to control someone doesn't accomplish that. Understanding what matters to them does.

Protect your unique ability

As my business grew, Dan helped me see that I didn't need to keep solving every problem myself.

In the beginning, you may not have the resources to hire help. But once you do, continuing to spend your time on every problem can keep your business limited to what you personally can do in a day.

There are people whose expertise can solve problems you keep struggling with. Investing in their help allows you to protect your attention for the decisions, relationships, and work that need you.

Dan taught me to focus on my unique ability and hire out the rest. Working less to make more sounds backward until you see how much time is going toward work someone else could do.

This was a hard lesson for me, and a powerful one.

Simplifying is valuable

You may take an ability for granted because it comes naturally to you. Other people may find that same ability incredibly useful.

For me, understanding something has always required knowing why and making it simple. I couldn't just absorb everything immediately. I needed to break it down.

That became a strength as a teacher. I can take complicated concepts and help someone understand them.

Dan's work helped me appreciate how valuable it is to cut through confusion for another person. Making something clear takes work. Asking good questions is part of that work.

That is what we do in coaching: ask questions that help someone find the wisdom in their own mind.

Happen to the world

One of my favorite lessons from Dan is to be happening to the world instead of letting the world happen to you.

Start with your talents, interests, wisdom, and relationships. Use them to create value instead of living in reaction to everything around you.

He also distinguishes creation from consumption. Nice things and experiences can be wonderful, but they don't have to become your identity. What you create from your own abilities gives you a different kind of meaning.

Complaining about the way things are doesn't create a business. Seeing how something could be better and taking committed action does.

Start before you know everything

There are lessons you can only learn by being in action. Preparing matters, but you will never know everything before you start.

Procrastinating doesn't spare you the work. It extends the anticipation of doing it. You can spend your time dreading a situation or get into it and learn.

Dan also asks us to look differently at self-discipline. We are already disciplined to our existing habits. The question is what those habits are creating.

Are you practicing habits that support growth, or habits that keep you where you are?

These lessons keep bringing me back to choice. How do I want to think? What do I want to create? What question would help me move forward?

I don't control the whole world. I can choose what I do with my experience of it, learn from the past, and keep creating a future I want.