Lessons from Jack Canfield

Define success deliberately, take useful action, and build a life that reflects what matters to you.

Why bother pursuing success?

Why set the goal, give up the buffer, or ask more of yourself? Why not accept where you are and spend your life collecting as much immediate pleasure as possible?

I think those are important questions. I work with people who begin making progress and then get frightened. Suddenly, they do not want the dream anymore. They want to stop pursuing it.

For me, pursuing success is about creating a relationship with myself that is based on knowing myself instead of escaping myself. It asks me to become more conscious, more present, and more willing to see what I am capable of.

That is why Jack Canfield's The Success Principles has meant so much to me. I first read it as a new coach, and its lessons became part of the work I did with my clients. Revisiting it reminds me that success is something we can pursue on purpose.

Decide what kind of life you want

You get to decide whether you want your life to be an accumulation of immediate pleasures or a pursuit of long-term success. I do not think the answer is the same for everyone.

What I notice is that trying to keep both when they contradict each other can create a constant struggle. You want the long-term result, but you also want the immediate gratification that prevents it.

In my own life, I am committed to overcoming the part of my brain that pursues immediate pleasure at the expense of what I ultimately want. When I remove the buffers that help me escape myself, I experience a deeper sense of freedom and well-being.

Success gives me a way to evolve. The more I ask of myself, the more I give of myself. Growing my own capacity lets me make a greater contribution.

Take responsibility for your life

One of Canfield's foundational principles is taking 100 percent responsibility for your life. I teach this too: Take responsibility for how you think, how you feel, how you act, and the results you create.

When you live in blame, you feel as if life is happening to you. When you take responsibility, you can feel motivated to change it.

The life you are living now is one version of your life. If you do not like it, that does not mean it is the only version available. You can change where you live, what you do, the people you spend time with, and the way you think about yourself.

Your past is unchangeable, but your perspective on it is not. Changing what your past means to you changes how you experience your present and what you can imagine for your future.

I think this is wonderfully empowering. You can reinvent yourself instead of treating the life you have as the only life you could ever have.

Choose a goal and take action

Deciding what you want is a decision. It does not have to arrive as a magical discovery. I think what we decide to want becomes our purpose.

Get to know yourself. Ask what you want, set the goal, visualize it, and believe you can have it. Then take the actions required to create it.

Some people avoid goals because they are afraid of letting themselves down. But never giving yourself a chance lets you down ahead of time.

You will encounter adversity and obstacles. Overcoming them is part of the point. They give you the opportunity to grow into the person who can create the result.

And you do not have to know the right action before you begin. Sometimes taking the wrong action teaches you what you need to know. More action means more experience, more learning, and more participation in your life.

Ask, and be willing to hear no

I love Canfield's emphasis on asking. So many of us are not even willing to say what we want because we are afraid of the answer.

I have heard plenty of nos. But I would never have received the yeses if I had not been willing to ask. In my experience, a yes may cost me ten nos, and it is worth it.

Ask yourself. Ask other people. Be willing to put what you want into the world.

Then persist. We get into trouble when we think things should be easy, that we should feel happy immediately, and that discomfort means we should stop.

I think the opposite is true. Growth requires moving into discomfort. Anything worth achieving will ask something of us.

Build the support that helps you grow

Your attitude matters. Complaining about what is not working and staying committed to the past is different from making the effort to think positively about what you are creating.

Surround yourself with people who support you, believe in you, and want to succeed. Offer that same support to them.

Focus on your core genius. Just because you can do a task does not mean you should be the one doing it. Put your time into what you do especially well, and delegate other work to people whose strengths fit it.

A coach and a mastermind group can also help you see beyond what you can see alone. Being around people who are ahead of you in some areas gives you access to their insight.

Choose your relationships deliberately

I asked my sons what kind of brothers they wanted to be and what they wanted from each other. Connor asked Christian how he wanted him to show up as a brother.

Watching them consider that on purpose was beautiful. They were choosing the relationship instead of simply noticing how they happened to behave around each other.

You can ask the same questions about being a wife, a friend, or any other person in a relationship. What kind of person do you want to be?

Do not keep relationships only because someone is nearby or has been in your life for years. My best friend has been my friend since high school, but the reason I choose her is that I would choose her again today.

Be deliberate with money and attention

Decide what you believe about money. Negative thoughts about wealth can interfere with creating it. Decide how much you want to earn and spend, and why.

Make the same decisions about your digital life. How much time do you want to spend on social media? How much energy do you want to give it?

I noticed people looking at their phones on a beautiful morning walk. I recognized myself in that. A notification can take me out of the experience I am having and into a conversation somewhere else.

You can decide ahead of time instead of letting your phone make that decision for you.

Explore what you have been given

Pursuing success because you think life will be better there creates trouble. There will always be another horizon. Pursuing it because you want to live consciously and explore your capacity is a different experience.

I ask Connor why he thinks he has such a smart brain and what he might do with that gift. I ask myself the same thing about the coaching tools I have been given.

Exploring your greatness does not mean thinking too highly of yourself. You did not create yourself. You can value what you have been given and ask what you might contribute with it.

For me, the pursuit of success comes back to that relationship with myself: the part of me that watches me be me, the connection to something beyond my personality and history.

You are more powerful than you think. Give yourself the chance to explore that power and blow your own mind.