Lessons from Abraham

Use your thinking to support action—and stop postponing all your enjoyment.

Some of the most useful wisdom in my life has come from teachers whose work initially seemed a little strange.

Abraham is one of them. Esther Hicks describes receiving wisdom from entities and speaking for them. I understand why that explanation can make people hesitate. But I do not want you to miss the wisdom because of the way it is communicated.

When I was beginning to build my business, I needed to hear that everything was possible for me. These teachings gave me that. Several of their ideas changed the way I think about beliefs, happiness, parenting, and creating my life.

A belief is a thought you keep thinking

This is one of the most life-giving concepts I learned from Abraham.

A belief is not something separate from your thinking. It is a thought you have practiced so often that it is easy to think. Understanding that has helped me see my beliefs as something I can work with.

It also connects with the Self Coaching Model. Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results.

I think people misunderstand the law of attraction when they leave out that sequence. They hear that thoughts create results and assume the teaching means you can simply wish for something instead of taking action. That is not how I understand it.

Our minds are powerful. What we think changes how we feel, where we go, and what we do. Much of what I used to create the Model came from studying these ideas.

Notice what you keep giving your attention to

Another idea that changed my life is that nothing has gone wrong.

For me, that thought interrupts the habit of treating every difficulty as proof that life is going badly. It gives me a different place from which to look at what is happening.

Abraham describes resistance as giving attention to what you do not want to attract. Think about how much time you can spend rehearsing your misery, imagining what could go wrong, and reviewing people you do not like.

I am not suggesting you delete your thoughts and feelings. You need to acknowledge them and own them. But you can notice whether you keep feeding the experience you say you do not want.

In their teaching, what you give is connected to what you attract. I love the idea of looking at what I want more of and asking how I can give it. That is an abundant way to participate in my life.

Take other people off the hook for your happiness

One of Abraham's teachings is to let people know that your happiness depends on you, and then demonstrate it.

That means practicing feeling good without requiring them to behave a certain way first. When you stop assigning them responsibility for your feelings, you stop using them as your reason not to feel good.

This is such a powerful way to think about relationships. Instead of waiting for someone to provide the experience you want, you become responsible for creating it through your own thinking.

You can let another person be who they are without making their behavior the condition for your happiness.

Enjoy the wanting before you have the result

Think about planning a trip to Hawaii. You are not there yet, but you can enjoy the anticipation.

You do not have to spend every day upset that you have not arrived. You can take pleasure in what you are looking forward to.

I love applying that to a dream. Want it. Think about it. Let it give you pleasure as it grows. Participate in creating it with your actions.

There is no final arrival where all your wanting ends. You reach one horizon and see another. That is part of evolving.

If you postpone feeling good until you arrive, you keep postponing it. Enjoyment belongs along the way.

Your opinion of yourself deserves your attention

Abraham encourages us to examine ourselves with the intention of finding wonderful things. That is so different from continually looking for what needs fixing.

From self-appreciation, I bring a different feeling to my life. In their language, that feeling is my point of attraction.

They also remind us that another person's opinion has more to do with their habits of thought than with who we are. I find tremendous freedom in remembering that.

When I look for the good in someone, my brain finds more of it. When I look for what we have in common, that becomes more visible too. I can direct my mind instead of automatically looking for disagreement.

The gift I want to give my children

One lesson became a cornerstone of my parenting: my own happiness is one of the best gifts I can give my children.

I grew up with a mother who was unhappy and sacrificed in an effort to make us happy. Her intention was loving, but having an unhappy mother was painful. Her misery did not create our happiness.

Learning this helped me understand that caring about my own happiness was also a way of caring for my children. I could give them an example of living a happy life.

That is how deeply these ideas have affected me. They are not just interesting concepts. They have changed how I think, how I love, and how I show up.

You do not have to dismiss a teacher because the source of the teaching seems unusual. Stay open long enough to consider the wisdom. One idea can change the way you experience your life.